​Called to care: Christian teachers and looked after Children

Towards trauma-informed schools

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Truth be told, I don’t do school pick-up as often as I should (or would like) to. But, on the rare occasions I do get involved, I stand there in the playground awaiting the rush of noise and excitement that will soon tumble down the steps towards me and assorted parents and carers, and many thoughts run through my mind.

Will I be first to see him, or will he spot me first? Will he be happy? Excited? Sad? Worn out? Has he remembered his lunch box? Did I remember a snack for him (I check my pocket one more time)? And, most importantly, will his teacher want to chat to me…

The last one induces the most anxiety because school for this particular little guy is not the easiest of places, and on a number of occasions I find myself having a polite conversation with a teacher about all manner of interesting, let’s say ‘non-standard’ behaviours and incidents. There’s some wonderful conversations too, about things like Star of the Week or a beautiful display of maturity or kindness, and of course many first aid-related conversations accompanied by the slip of paper with an ‘X’ on the body-shaped outline marking the spot where the trauma occurred.

I’m yet to be handed a slip with a big ‘X’ on the chest where his heart is. In truth, that would be more accurate. Because whatever happens in his school day – whatever bumps, bruises or scrapes he suffers or indeed inflicts upon others – all begin there, that ‘primal wound’ deep in the centre of his being, and that is where all trauma-informed parenting and indeed teaching must begin. We know the heart is where all the issues of life spring from for any child and for every human being. But for girls and boys who are living without birth mother or father, it seems especially important to remember that.

Teachers, teaching assistants and school staff put in a lot of work as they seek to help a huge variety of different children. It takes years and years for those of us who actually live day-by-day with care-experienced children to learn who they are and properly understand them. Parents and carers do our best to embrace different approaches and learn new techniques that will give these precious souls the best possible chance of success, defined in their terms. In our personal case we have been so blessed by a school that have, from the Headteacher all the way down, had a heart to develop their trauma-informed teaching, even going as far as training the whole school on trauma and emotion coaching. They have re-visited their behaviour policy to ensure it works for looked-after students, seeking to avoid the unnecessary shame that such policies can induce. They have engaged brilliantly with the information we have shared and the concerns we have raised along the way despite their lack of resource, leading us through the EHCP journey along with all the reviews and meetings that go along with it. 

In a positive partnership like this, traumatised children provide Christian teachers with a beautiful opportunity to demonstrate the glorious grace and Christ-like care deep in God’s Father heart. Amidst all of the wonderful training available to us now on neurodivergence, therapeutic approaches and tailored support in place of a ‘one size fits all’ method, it is the fact that Christian teachers know God’s adoptive love for them that makes them perfectly placed to offer that same love to looked-after children who have faced unique and acute challenges just to get to the classroom. What challenges might be unique to care-experienced students, and how can we practically show love in response?

• Connect with them. They yearn for and need connection, often above everything else. In most instances attachment is a prerequisite for any correction you may need to give. Positive, strong attachment allows them to function from a place of safety and security.

• Think long term. You’ll likely have to put in a lot of work over a long time to reach deeper outcomes and success; a nominated key person they attach to may help them get further, faster, and navigate those wobbly days, especially if that person can span year groups.

• Grieve with them. Most have suffered the deep loss of someone very close. Intentionally make space for your student to process that grief verbally, pictorially, or in other ways, at a time that suits them. Consider regular time with a pastoral or ELSA worker.

• Ride the transition rollercoaster. Stopping and starting any activity is understandably very difficult for them. There will be big emotional ups and downs. Create soft buffers that help at trigger points: could they draw while everyone else packs away, or start their snack?

• Acknowledge their anxieties. Explain what is happening now, and what happens next; this helps students who have suffered huge uncertainty feel safe. Be prepared for hasty questions at inappropriate times.

• Think outside the box. Be flexible – they might have to sit on your knee while you do the register; time-in is usually better than ‘time out’. Toilet visits and food might need to happen at a time they need it. They long for control in a world where they have lost control of most things, and this helps them gain a little bit back.

• Celebrate their gains. It could be extremely small; sometimes just being in the classroom is a huge achievement in itself! But celebration helps them heal and feel valued.

• Be ready for disclosures. They will have invariably suffered harrowing neglect and abuse. They may want to share it. Write down everything you can. If the student can draw, ask them to do that too. Acknowledge their pain, and make clear you will need to share what they have told you so that you can keep them safe.

• Show up and be consistent. We definitely underestimate how powerful this in the heart of a child who wobbles at the slightest change and worries about whether you’ll still be there the next day. 

On behalf of foster carers and adoptive parents everywhere, thank you so much for all the wonderful work you do to bless our children. Perhaps above all these pointers, and before anything practical, remember that the most important thing you can do is pray. Pray for that student who needs to know their Father in heaven. Pray big, and for miracles. Pray for practical inspiration. Bring them to the Lord, and let Him show you their heart. He will do great things – from His heart, through your hands! 

Our CEO Josh wrote this with the help of his wife who is a Teaching Assistant.

(This post was originally published on the Association of Christian Teacher's website on 21st March 2025 - you can see it at https://www.christian-teachers.org.uk/blog/called-to-care-christian-teachers-and-looked-after-children)